Learning to wait


A man does not just happen; he does not just grow like a flower.
— Maria Montessori, The 1946 London Lectures

We live in a society of 'adults' who increasingly think that if they want something then they should be given it, and "right now!"

If they don't get what they feel they're entitled to, they lash out.

They don't seem to realize that we must work for the things we want. Reality doesn't just hand us goodies whenever we have a craving.

But how do we learn this life lesson as human beings: how do emotional, impatient boys and girls become thoughtful, patient young men and women?

One way, in Montessori education, is by having in our classrooms only one of each material/activity so children learn that sometimes we must wait.

If a girl is using an activity, say an enticing globe or a screwdriver set, but a boy screams, "I want it!", his want might be acknowledged by an empathetic teacher but it is NOT given into.

No matter how upset the child gets, he still cannot use the material until the other child is finished. This is a foundational limit in Montessori classrooms.


“The material is a help because we only have one set of material in a class and so if one child is using a piece that another child wants, he must wait until the first child has finished with it and put it back in its place. There is a rule that the children do not give the apparatus to each other, but always put it back in its place when they have finished with it. So they have an exercise of patience and respect for others. All these little things help bring sympathy and understanding. They gradually bring a real harmony, which could not be given artificially.”

-Maria Montessori, London 1946


Again, the results of all this:
-Children who come to have patience.
-Children who come to respect one another.
-Children who are *not* entitled.

Montessori once said, "A man does not just happen; he does not just grow like a flower." And the same is true of a society. If we look around us and see troubled adults, we will be well served to go back to our roots, in childhood, and see if we missed any lessons that might have helped us in becoming more emotionally stable adults.

It's never too late to grow up. It's never too late to strengthen our character. #neverstop #montessori #characterdevelopment

For a sweet anecdote about ‘learning to wait’ in the Montessori classroom, watch this wonderful little (1-min) clip:


For more on Montessori: