How does a toddler make coffee? Take a look…
Here are a couple popular responses to this video:
"That’s so cute!"
"No way my kid could do that!"
The first response is true, no doubt, but the second doesn’t have to be.
There is nothing uniquely special about Carter’s ability here, at least from my experience working with literally thousands of children through the years. Every toddler is capable of this coffee-making feat, assuming that he (or she) wants to do it of course — and that he’s been offered a prepared environment in which to do it. For instance:
1) An environment that says: "You are capable."
Notice how much Carter is allowed to do for himself:
He has his own child-sized ladder that he can (safely) use on his own.
Many things in the kitchen are positioned so that he is able to use them without parent help, from the easily accessible Keurig machine and its pods to the sugar container and spoon.
The pitcher of milk is small enough that he can handle it with no problem. (Note that the pitcher is real glass. "But what if it breaks??" a parent might understandably ask. No problem. Carter and his dad, who is always nearby, can then work together to clean it up.)
The garbage bin opens with a foot pedal so Carter is able to throw away trash on his own.
2) An environment with A LOT of language
Carter actually spoke a surprising amount while he was making coffee. Here are just a few of his words/comments — most of which he most likely absorbed from Dad's prior modeling:
"Milk, there," as Carter points toward the fridge. "Turn on, turn on, Daddy." "Warming up, Daddy." "Push that, push that." "Oh, need to turn it off," as he reaches around the backside of the Keurig machine. "Need some sugar, Daddy." "Under water, under water," referring to the sugar he just put in the cup of coffee. "Lift it up," as he remembers that the Keurig pod needs to be taken out and thrown away. (How many of us adults forget to throw away that pod??) "Hot, hot, hot," as he takes the used pod out, holding it safely by the top. "Here's your coffee, Daddy." "Climb up there," as he goes to place the empty milk pitcher in the sink (gently, per Dad's guidance).
3) An environment of respect
In this video, we see the great care with which Carter's dad speaks to him. We never hear Carter ordered around. Instead, we hear appreciation from Dad for Carter's work. "Wow, thank you." "Ok, thank you, Carter." "Thank you very much." "Thank you for putting the pitcher in the sink." This father obviously has tremendous respect for his son as an individual. He speaks to him not as a baby who can perform cool tricks, but rather as a growing boy who can increasingly do things on his own.
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But of course regardless of how great a child’s environment is, his being able to make coffee at 2 years old does not occur overnight (or without messes). It takes a lot of work, by both child and adult.
And this can include internal work, such as our having a bit more confidence in what children are capable of, or maybe our letting go of an unhealthy need for too much control. Here are some related thoughts from a mother after watching the video:
There’s something kind of silly about this mom’s post, and I imagine she was chuckling a bit when she shared it, but there is also something so serious and so good about it.
She recognizes that in order for her own child to grow — to accomplish and enjoy any kind of independent feat like Carter’s — she too, as a parent, needs to grow.
And this dual growth can be a wonderful thing. As the great educator (and mother) Maria Montessori once put it: “The child developing harmoniously and the adult improving himself at his side make a very exciting and attractive picture.” (from The Secret of Childhood)
Ultimately, as we watch two-year-old Carter happily making coffee, it’s important to remember that behind the scenes there is a parent(s) who prepared an environment that helped to make it all possible. …
And with that, cheers to both Carter and his unseen parent guide! 👏☕️
Jesse McCarthy is the Founder of Montessori Education, an organization dedicated to helping parents and teachers raise independent, flourishing children — while enjoying themselves along the way.